This is Carter on Thanksgiving

Oh my goodness - I got Carter's new crib the other day and the first night was okay he slept all night - but the last two days have been hell. In all my 7 months with him I have never been this frustrated, he won't lay down in the bed, he wants me to pick him up every 20 minutes. Now it takes me at least three hours to finally get to sleep.

Now I do admit I let him sleep with me sometimes but in my defense, it was only those times when he wasn't feeling well or if he fell asleep on the bed and I was to tired to pick him up. My mother on the other hand wants to cuddle with him sometimes in her room - and she was the main one telling me put him in his own bed.

Now on to her - love her to death - and I appreciate her helping me sometimes when I need a break but right now she is not respecting my role as a mother. I sometimes get the impression that she's a mother of two instead of one. She watches over me when I'm doing something with him. She second guesses my decisions, and when I call her on it she gets defensive.

The thing that really gets on my nerves now is she's being really cold to my ex - now I know he doesn't get the father of the year award but regardless of what he did to me I know he loves his son, and he wants to spend time with him when he can - the situation is my mom doesn't know what went down and from day one he hasn't done anything to look bad in my mother's eyes, so there is now reason for her to be so disrespectful to him. When he comes over she shuts the door to her room and doesn't speak to him - I have to tell her to say hi, and when he picks him up for the day she's real bitchy until Carter's comes back home.

It's like our relationship now is just based on Carter. I spoke to my cousin about it and she feels I need to move out. I wish I could find another place but right now I don't want to look at any more boxes, so I guess I just have to grin and bear it. PRAY FOR ME!!!