Every time I think things could be okay between me and Carter's father he goes and proves me wrong. To make this entry short I let him spend time with Carter for the day - he told me he was going to the Bronx to see family. Now that I know he's living at his girlfriend's apartment I told him numerous times I didn't want my baby there. I didn't want Carter around her and her family because basically I know how some females (and trust me I played this game once) involved with men and their kids thinks - that best way to get closer is to bond with their child. Make them believe they would be the better mom. I will not have my baby used so she could get closer to him.
He lied to me and spent his day over there and what made the situation worst, we had to go to Babies R.Us the next day to buy some things (which I asked him in advanced) and he waits to tell me he didn't have any money - that's not all - he was going to call her for some money. I told him no way. On top of her trying to be stepmom now she's the provider. :(
He's pissing me off - I tried so hard to make this situation civil. I don't like confrontation, and I don't want to be that bitch, but he's really turning me into one. Now I have to put my foot down and tell him he has to come to my house to see Carter, and I know he's going to be pissed but he doesn't see that he did this to himself. I don't ask him for anything - no child support, I let him do whatever he wants but that has to stop - I'm driving myself crazy.
My friend told me this situation with his girl has more to do with me than Carter, but I disagree. I don't want him to grow up thinking it's okay to lie and use people and disrespect women - yes, I feel he's disrespectful to me by throwing his new relationship in my face and forcing me to grin and bear it.
The next time I speak to him I have to put this all out on the table - I bet the next entry will be me talking about filing child support papers and Carter having an absent father.
3 comments:
Hey ruby1977, my name is bylynda from erf, I counsel, children and teens and their familes and have worked in this capacity for 2 years, I first want to give you encouragement for being a single parent and aldo I want to let you know from experience that children can pick up on the tension between their parents, and I know that you maynot be feeling you son's father taking him arounf the girlfriend, but if he lives w/ her currently how can you possibly fully control this, and if arguments ensue surrounding this it may effec the realtionship between yourself and your child in the long run. and maybe in seeking assistance and support from friends, spirtual advisor or acutally counselor or support person that can provide assistance that is legally binded to keep all discussions as private could be an option for cont support
w/ this matter... I pray much for you my sister, and congratualte you for being the strong loving parenyt that you are...it takes a lot of humility for us to understand that we need help, we all need of ushelp, and to seek it is winning the battle of this thing called life....luv and much respect to you , bylynda
Why wait til things really get heated to start with official child support payments? Don't force the child support payments in revenge. Do it now to force the monetary responsibility. As small as they may be since he is saying he has no money, get the official payments started, he then may grasp there is a little more reality to this situation.
@th3graces
I hear you, I'm working on the child support as we speak, I wanted to give him a chance to be responsible and handle this on his own but like you said he's not ready to step up and be the man.
Also I know it's the best interest for me and my son to let the relationship go - it just going to take some time. I just want an explanation for his actions, I really feel I deserve that, then maybe I can move on
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