I know it's been a month since my last entry - just to keep you posted, me and Carter's father is still a mess. He's still lyin, I'm still giving him chances like an idiot, but other than that Carter's growing up to be a cutie, I need to get more pics for everyone to see. He's crawling, and I'm trying to get him to walk, but he'll do it when he's ready.
I went to NC to see his family - the trip was nice and very informative. I'm starting to see where Carter's father is getting his habits from. Not to knock on anyone - his mom was kind, showed love for Carter, and I know she appreciates me, but I guess I wasn't respecting her lifestyle. I was raised on my mom never bringing her relations in my presense until she knew for sure they meant something special, grant it to my knowledge I know of two men in my 28 years on this earth that came to the house - she just believed that she didn't want men coming in and out of my life.
Now with his mom a different story and I guess since thats how he was raised, he finds that acceptable with my son. How can I tell him without sounding disrespectful to his mom.
Now his mom is planning to move to another part of NC, and since he's been dying to leave town, it won't be long before he's out of my eyesight - but not out of my heart. I've been wondering to myself - why do we have to wait for the guy to get his stuff together(want to say the other word but I'm being nice).
Not that my life is 100% but I'm starting to have thoughts about talking to him and trying to help him get things going in the right direction so maybe things would get better between the both of us.
A part of me feels like a fool, but there's another part that telling me I gotta do what I can to make a family for our son. I lived that single parent life, and I promised myself I wouldn't raise my children like that. We say we want our children to have a better life than us, well thats a life I never had, and they say relationships take work - well I'm doing overtime. He thinks by leaving his problems are going away - he doesn't realize Carter isn't a problem and he's not going anywhere.
Carter @ 3 years old
Special Bond
My Love - Carter
Carter @ 1
About Me
- Danielle
- Brooklyn, New York, United States
- A proud MOTHER of a beautiful baby boy name CARTER. I wanted to start this journal to express my life as a new mom - something I been wanting to do for a long time. Showing the ups and downs of my life.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with triflin baby's daddy issues. Trust me, I understand your need to want your son to grow up in a functional 2 parent home, but you cannot force what wasn't meant to be.
My best advice to you is to focus on your beautiful son and leave this man alone. Sometimes the writing is on the wall and we don't want to accept what we see. We can know it's a no win situation, but as black woman we feel we have the power to change people.
Unfortunately, there are some people who will never change. We attempt to change them or wait for them to change until we are blue in the face only to find in the end we wasted years on a lost cause. Just keep praying and keep your head up.
As anonymous stated you can't force something all you can do is provide for your child and do what you have to do to make things happen.
The father is the one that will regret this in the end...cause he's missing out on something wonderful..take care
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